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Summer 2014

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Yup, this definitely isn’t going to be a standard look at bad movies. Instead, it’s time to look at this summer. I’m sure you’ve all seen the article about how Guardians of the Galaxy is the highest grossing film this year (DOMESTIC people, it ain’t got nothin on Transformers, Captain America, Spider-man, X-Men, and a bunch of others in the international market). And because of that, a lot of…

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(8/29) As Above So Below, November Man, Starred Up

…Let’s just get this over with… As Above, So Below …Ugh. It just looks…so stupid. What, underneath Paris is the gate to hell?

Top Three Prison-Themed Movies

Top Three Prison-Themed Movies

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So I have to choose between writing about spy thrillers with a terrible spy movie coming out, or horror movies with a terrible looking horror movie coming out…oh joy…which to pick which to – wait, there’s a little known incredibly limited release prison movie coming out tomorrow too?! Bingo! In honor of the only interesting looking movie “Starred Up” coming out this weekend, here are my top 3…

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Sin City: A Dame To Kill For

Sin City: A Dame To Kill For

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You think a movie with such a fan base like Sin City would really cater to what the fans want from it, that it would really bring on the brutality and dark material to let audiences have their fun with the blood and guts and ridiculous scenarios.

…so what happened…?

It’s weird, but this movie isn’t nearly as brutal as the first. Even the most disgusting scenes (one involving an eyeball being…

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If I Stay

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Here’s the thing…I actually think this movie is a REALLY cool idea. No, really, think about it.

For those of you who don’t know this young-adult novel (which, what a shock, I haven’t read), it’s about an 18 year old cellist who finds her life at a crossroads – devote her life to her boyfriend who she’s crazy about and who has a real career starting up for himself, or leave him and the comfort to…

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When The Game Stands Tall

When The Game Stands Tall

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Oh where to begin with this movie…

Well let’s start where it chooses to begin – with obvious Jesus imagery. Yeah, apparently this is a Jesus inspired football movie. So suit up. The Christian imagery is everywhere. From the title card being in the shape of a cross, to the lead actor being the guy who played Jesus in Passion, to the heart attack resurrection themes, to the team losing to the…

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Magic in the Moonlight

Magic in the Moonlight

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Woody Allen is a favorite of mine, but not necessarily because I love all of his movies. In fact, there’s a good few that I don’t like, and Magic in the Moonlight is one of them. But I love how even his misfires still maintain their passion and respect to them. The mistakes are that – mistakes. And they don’t deter from an overall experience of a film. That’s what I love about Magic in the…

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What’s With The Failures?

What’s With The Failures?

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I’ve decided to take a bit of a break from my normal “so-bad-it’s…” segment. And in fact, I think I’m going to do this every now and again. I wanted to write something different, exploring an idea that comes to my head either at the movies or while thinking about movies. So here’s my thought’s for this weeks editorial.

This week we saw Sin City 2: A Dame to Kill For release wide in theaters. I…

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Battlefield Earth is So Bad It’s…

Battlefield Earth is So Bad It’s…

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Battlefield Earth is such a fascinating experience. It’s just…so strange. Even non-cinephiles can appreciate its existence as being plainly wrong. First of all, it was based off a book that was rooted in scientology. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, but what is a bad thing is the revelation that the books success is actually rooted in its fan base buying copies in bulk and reselling them again…

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The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones (Spoiler - it still SUCKS)

The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones (Spoiler – it still SUCKS)

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This movie sucked then. This movie sucks now. This movie will suck forever. I mean, dear GOD this movie is bad.

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A year ago, I gave this movie a SCATHING review. I thought it was just terrible, and I’m not going to disguise my review to cover up how I feel until mid review. No, this is still Grade F crap, the lowest common denominator, a movie that thinks its audience will ingest whatever it…

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(8/22) Sin City, If I Stay, When The Game Stands Tall

(8/22) Sin City, If I Stay, When The Game Stands Tall

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Sin City: A Dame To Kill For

Actually, I’ll admit I’ve never watched the first Sin City. I know, I know! I’ve been told a billion times by everyone I’d absolutely love it. And if it’s anything like what I’m seeing from this trailer, I know I would. It looks SICK. It looks like it’s going beyond the film noir and comic book tropes…

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Top Three Schmaltzy Movies I’m TOTALLY Into…

Top Three Schmaltzy Movies I’m TOTALLY Into…

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I remember watching the first trailer for If I Stay and thinking…well that actually kinda looks not horrible. That’s to say, I know it won’t be very good, but I’m gonna love it. I’ll totally admit it – some girls are secretly (or not so secretly) suckers for high octane action fueled testosterone inducing blood gushing man movies. And then there’s me. I like everything, and that includes the…

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The Hundred Foot Journey

The Hundred Foot Journey

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There’s a certain amount of schmaltz that’s to be expected from the director of Dear John, Safe Haven, Salmon Fishing in the Yemen, Casanova, and Chocolat. And this movie definitely delivers on the schmaltz. It follows actually a kindof refreshing, albeit pretty obviously resolving, story about an Indian family moving into a French village with the idea of opening a restaurant right across the…

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The Expendables 3

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Ah, The Expendables. I have a mixed history with The Expendables. The first was crap. The second was amazing. I had hope for the third, because it seemed like Stallone had learned from the first. He knew that audiences were bored with the first, an onslaught of action that didn’t take advantage of its ridiculous cast. He restructured the second, making it the tongue in cheek action flick with all…

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The Giver

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Let me start by making one thing clear – I LOVE THE GIVER. The book that is. I loved it even when I was eleven. It fascinated me, challenged me, it inspired me. But, as you all know from my adoration of Cloudy With A Chance of Meatballs, an adaptation of even children’s material that doesn’t really follow the source material doesn’t always bother me. It’s interesting to see changes, and I like to…

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