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No Good Deed

Idris Elba, Idris Elba

You know what makes a terrible horror movie? A completely not-scary villain. Sadly, that is what Colin Evans is. And I actually have to blame Idris Elba a bit for that. It’s kindof painful to do.

This movie isn’t necessarily a poor idea for any horror film, albeit hackneyed. It always has the potential to be something different, with experiences from new cases and reported attacks. This takes no…

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Dolphin Tale 2

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If you loved the first one, you’ll love it. There. Review over.

Actually, that really is about it. Dolphin Tale won people over by its inability to be disliked. No, really. You might SAY you dislike it, you might even see how manipulative it is in making you like it, you might even be overwhelmed by how annoying it is that obviously everything is going to go right. But you liked it. You felt good…

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The Drop

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Noomi Rapace and James Gandolfini? I was sold right there. Tom Hardy was in it too, but I’m one of the few people who was never really too impressed by him. I thought he was terrible as Bane, silly in Lawless, annoying in Warrior, forgettable in Tinker Tailor…you get the point.

Well, time for me to eat my words. Tom Hardy is pretty fucking brilliant in this movie.

It’s interesting, because it’s…

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What’s with the Christian Films?

What’s with the Christian Films?

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The other day I had the incredible misfortune of watching the terribly paced and poorly thought out “The Identical”. It got me thinking more than just about bad movies though. It had me think very hard about one particular industry that seems to be pushing its way back this year, one that always has one or two movies a year, but this year has decided to really push their movies forward in what…

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(8/12) Dolphin Tale 2, No Good Deed, The Drop

Dolphin Tale 2 From the original absurdly sappy movie everyone loved for its sappiness comes the sequel - an absurdly sappy movie everyone’s gonna love for its sappiness!

Top Three Sequels That Made Me Scratch My Head

Top Three Sequels That Made Me Scratch My Head

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Sometimes there’s a movie that comes out that is GREAT. And then it gets a sequel and everyone gets mad. It always happens, and because of that, I do become numb to the idea of sequels and the hatred that surrounds them. But every so often, there’s a movie that comes out that makes me think “Wait…why?” Not angrily, not bitterly. But who’s idea was it to even give this movie a sequel? What is even…

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The Identical

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…What the hell did I even watch…?

No seriously, what is this? Let me give you the pitch. What if Elvis’ stillborn brother wasn’t actually dead? What if he was born and grew up as the unknown identical twin, who was also just as talented musically? What if this turned into a nature vs nurture debate, as the twin finds himself drawn to music but receiving conflicting ideas from his preacher father?

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9/5 (The Identical, The Longest Week)

In a slow weekend, there’s really only two trailers worth watching for movies releasing this weekend, as the rest that are slated as opening are only opening overseas or in Canada for the Toronto International Film Festival.

Top Three Religious Themed Movies That Don’t Suck

Top Three Religious Themed Movies That Don’t Suck

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I’m not against religion at all. I’m actually a spiritual person myself who tends to find spirituality despite my atheist beliefs. But that doesn’t mean I don’t think religion is a fascinating subject to tackle, both in positive and negative lights. It’s an awesome discussion topic, one that allows religion to be ultimately a hero, or a villain. In honor of The Identical, a Christian musical…

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As Above, So Below

As Above, So Below

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WHERE. DO I. FUCKING. BEGIN.

Okay. Okay. Okay okay okay okay okay okay. Okay. Goddamnit. This movie SUCKS. Okay. Sorry.

Problem number one. The premise. Don’t get me wrong, it looks like a cool idea! The idea is having an entire horror movie taking place in the catacombs that really do exist under Paris, France. The problem? It’s not about the catacombs, it’s about hell. Because apparently, Hell…

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The November Man

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The whole time I was watching this movie, it became more and more abundantly clear that I was absolutely missing something. I didn’t understand the character, I really didnt understand his relationships, I didn’t understand the characters around him, it felt like I was walking into a sequel to a movie I’d never seen or even heard of.

And guess what…that’s exactly what happened. Sort of. Except…

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Summer 2014

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Yup, this definitely isn’t going to be a standard look at bad movies. Instead, it’s time to look at this summer. I’m sure you’ve all seen the article about how Guardians of the Galaxy is the highest grossing film this year (DOMESTIC people, it ain’t got nothin on Transformers, Captain America, Spider-man, X-Men, and a bunch of others in the international market). And because of that, a lot of…

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(8/29) As Above So Below, November Man, Starred Up

…Let’s just get this over with… As Above, So Below …Ugh. It just looks…so stupid. What, underneath Paris is the gate to hell?

Top Three Prison-Themed Movies

Top Three Prison-Themed Movies

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So I have to choose between writing about spy thrillers with a terrible spy movie coming out, or horror movies with a terrible looking horror movie coming out…oh joy…which to pick which to – wait, there’s a little known incredibly limited release prison movie coming out tomorrow too?! Bingo! In honor of the only interesting looking movie “Starred Up” coming out this weekend, here are my top 3…

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Sin City: A Dame To Kill For

Sin City: A Dame To Kill For

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You think a movie with such a fan base like Sin City would really cater to what the fans want from it, that it would really bring on the brutality and dark material to let audiences have their fun with the blood and guts and ridiculous scenarios.

…so what happened…?

It’s weird, but this movie isn’t nearly as brutal as the first. Even the most disgusting scenes (one involving an eyeball being…

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